


hell, i admire you

by merchrinks



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Slow Burn, but not really, i wrote this entire thing in two hours you can thank sugar, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 03:12:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15621252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merchrinks/pseuds/merchrinks
Summary: “If anyone should be in awe of someone, I should be in awe of you."Lance and Keith chat every night over the same question. Someone finally answers.





	hell, i admire you

“ _What do you remember?” Their arms dangle over the rail, and they can see the entire city of Bukhar alight from here. The moonlight is strong here, and Lance taps his foot softly on the roof. It’s not frantic, though, so Keith faces the sky and thinks of an answer._

 

* * *

 

He doesn’t have an answer. He never does, hasn't since Lance had started asking him, and tonight is no different. Except, Lance starts talking instead. In the months that it had taken for them to find routine in the question, neither of them had ever answered. Keith still has no answer, but when Lance opens his mouth, Keith sits back and listens.

“I remember the first time I fell in love with the sky.” Lance looks up, and Keith feels the sudden need to look away, to leave Lance alone to talk to the stars above. “My mama, she brought me books home every week, and one day she brought home a thick textbook.” He sighs, softly. “It was about the sky. About matter and stars. The Big Bang and other theories, how we knew so little about the darkness surrounding our little planet. It was magical. I read that textbook so many times that the spine started to crack. I started thinking, realized I was as much a part of the universe as the galaxies and the planets and everything else in it, and I wanted to make it less of a mystery for the world.”

“What was your favorite fact?”

“I liked stars. How stars can be born, can die, can create,” Lance is looking straight at Keith. Keith looks back. “How - How you, me, _we’re_ made of stardust.”

Keith feels like a star when Lance says that, looks at him like that. His body is burning and burning and he’s shining. Feels like the stardust scattered through the dark, glowing and hot.

“I had a poster,” Keith blurts. Lance has given too much of him, and Keith feels the need to give back to Lance. “When I was twelve, my foster mom got me a poster that said ‘You are living, you occupy space, you have mass - You matter!’ It was my favorite thing, and I kept it rolled up next to me while I slept.”

“You did?”

“Yeah.” At that, Lance beams, and Keith’s heart stops.

“I don’t feel so stupid for telling you that anymore. Thanks, Keith.”

“Anytime.” He returns Lance’s smile.

 

* * *

  
“Let’s play truth or trout.”

“Okay. What’s that?” Keith raises an eyebrow. Lance lifts his too, winking. It’s playful. It’s not. Keith briefly curses his inability to read expressions.

“All you have to do is answer the question…”

“I feel like trout is going to be dangerous.”

“Nah, you just flop.” Lance flips onto his stomach and demonstrates. A chuckle makes its way out of Keith, and he shakes his head.

“You’re an idiot.” There’s no venom behind it. There isn’t usually, not anymore.

 

* * *

 

  
Keith likes it, watching Lance ramble about the things that he likes and the things that he doesn’t. There’s a lot of things Lance likes.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“I like red.”

“Really?? I like grey and blue.” It’s funny, really. They’ve been on the same ship for nearly two years, and Keith has been back from the Blade for a few months now. They were at the Garrison since age fourteen, and they still don’t know each other’s favorite colors. “Now you ask.”

“Okay.” His mind runs blank. “Favorite animal?”

“Sharks!” Lance laughs. “Since my mama showed me a book of marine animals and I saw the nurse shark tucked into the sand. Like a little baby, with a blanket. Crazy about sharks since.” This time when Lance leans back to cast another sunny beam his way, the angle changes him. Lance is suddenly human and vulnerable in the moonlight, thinking about sharks and stars.

Keith likes that too, how open his face is in the light. He suddenly feels the urge to touch Lance’s cheek, turned up and soft. He doesn’t act on it. Lance just thinks and Keith just stares. Then Lance remembers it’s his turn, and Lance cranks up the intensity of the stupid game real quick. 0-100, just like that. Keith hates it. Keith loves it.

“What’s something you’ve never told anyone?” Briefly, Keith considers choosing trout and getting off easy but he doesn’t. He can’t, he’s never really done what he wants. Only what’s needed, do that as fast as you can, then get out before things go to shit. Face gay bullshit with the same motto. “You can choose trout,” Lance suggests, sensing Keith’s indecision. Keith’s resolve hardens. He stops thinking, just says it.

“I remember you.” It’s not a huge revelation, but you would think it was from the way Keith and Lance react to it. Keith’s eyes are shifty and terrified, and Lance looks pissed and amazed at the same time.

“What?”

“From the Garrison. And the night we saved Shiro. I remembered you.”

“Oh.” Lance doesn’t say anything for a bit. “WAIT WHAT?” His mock outrage looks eerily like real outrage and actually, Keith can’t tell. Yeah, low empathy and zero ability to read expressions is real helpful. Keith panics a little bit. Just a _little_ bit.

“Are you upset?”

“Not actually but _dude._ ”

“I’m sorry. I’ve never told anyone else that though?”

“Oh.” Lance makes a weird laugh-sigh sound. “Man, baby-Lance would be so excited. Keith Kogane? Remembering Lance Mcclain?? Who could’ve thought.” Keith frowns. He wants to argue that remembering Lance Mcclain is pretty easy, but he isn’t sure how to. He just waits for Lance to keep talking. “What do you remember about me?”

“Your ears...” Keith bites his tongue, and Lance’s entire face scrunches up again. A tiny Lance, with big pink mouse ears and a scowl appear in his mind and next to the unimpressed Lance staring at him, he _really_ is tiny. Had it only been a few years ago that Lance had been so small? The thought of the mouse-Lance hits him again.

Keith starts to laughs at that, really laughs, from his chest and everything.

“Ohmygod, Lance,” He wheezes. “They were _so big_. You, you were so fucking tiny,”

“ _Keith_ ,” Lance whines. He shoves Keith’s shoulder. “ _Fuck you_ , I hated my ears so much.”

Without thinking, Keith feels for Lance’s ear in the dark and touches it.

“I thought they were pretty cute.” He misses Lance’s flush in the dark, but all Lance sees is the smug smirk. “Hey, Lance, do you know how I used to look for you?”

“You looked for me? How.”

“I,” Keith grins widely. Lance’s mouth flattens out. “I looked for your ears.”

“ _KEITH!!_ ” Lance pouts, crossing his arms and huddling down. It’s cute. Keith is happy.

 

* * *

 

 

They talk about the Garrison after that. Lance tells him about how homesick Lance would get sometimes, how his family couldn’t afford to send him home every few holidays. Keith jerks at that, remembering curling into his bunk alone and trying to imagine himself a family.

Lance moves on to their rivalry, how he studied for days just to barely match Keith’s scores. How in awe of Keith he’d been, how much Lance had wanted to be like him.

 _I don’t deserve this kind of praise. Not me. Lance does._  

“Lance.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember a crying kid? In the bathrooms. After Kerberos was announced to have failed.”

“Yeah.”

“That was me.”

“I know.” Lance’s smile is watery. “I knew it was you the moment you told me to go away. I still feel bad about leaving, but I think you needed to be alone at the time. I wish there was more I could’ve done. You were in there for a really long time.” Keith might fall over, pass out or die or something, ‘cuz Lance still thought he was cool after that.

“Lance, do you wanna know something?”

“Sure.” Lance is quiet, but the smile is a little less teary.

“I thought you were really cool,”

_Say what you need to, get out._

“If anyone should be in awe of someone, I should be in awe of you. Even when we became paladins, you were always better at thinking on your feet. Better at getting people to like you, better at not being reckless, better at mastering your Bayard. Better at knitting,” Lance huffs a laugh. He lets his head thunk on the wall behind him. Lance is just watching Keith now. “You’re amazing, Lance. You kept the team together when Shiro went missing. You kept Pidge from working themself to death, kept being an amazing best friend to Hunk, helped lighten Coran and Allura, and you… You kept me from breaking.”

Lance is still quietly watching him. Keith wants to keep talking, but he isn’t sure if he can say anymore. Lance is unreadable.

“I don’t have that many things to say, I guess. I’m just trying to-”

“Keith,” Lance interrupts. He’s leaning in.

Lance is close, so close, and Keith can smell the Bukharian dessert on his breath. It smells like mint and it fits Lance and Keith likes that, he likes so much about Lance. Keith wants closer. Keith leans forward, just barely, and Lance is grabbing the front of the floaty shirt -  

_Yeah, just do it -_

Lance stops. He laughs, and Keith, foolishly, romantically, wants to breathe in the air he exhales just in case any of Lance slipped out with the exhale so he closes his eyes. Lance laughs again, probably at how stupid Keith looks.

“I admire you, Keith.”

Keith opens his eyes to stare at Lance. Lance is staring, still and Keith gives in and _does_ touch his cheek. It’s soft under his fingers and when Lance smiles, Keith gives in all the way.

“I admire you too, Lance.” Warm lips meet his, it’s soft, it tastes like mint and peach and their teeth clack and they’re smiling. “Hell, Lance, I admire you so much.” Lance laughs at that and just pulls Keith closer.

 

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact i made up truth or trout when i was in sixth grade just so i could learn a bunch of weird things about my best friend's friends


End file.
